You know something, guys confuse me. They say one thing, and then they do another. For one thing, I’m a chick and I HATE this mixed signal business. It’s really confusing. I don’t know why people don’t have the courage to say what they need to say. I guess this is one of the reasons why I even started this blog, why I even take the time to write this stuff and put it up here. I’m just tired of all the signals people send… Ones they don’t take the time to even think about before they’re sent.
A really good friend of mine told me once, “People are going to hate you, and people are going to love you. But the person’s love that should matter the most to you should be your own love.” I used to really hate myself; I thought the world hated me, that I was a freak, and that I was always going to be that way. Then I moved back to Okinawa (where I live now), and I just figured myself out. It may have taken me two years, but I’m here.
I live inside of my own little world when I’m alone, a place where everything is the way I want it to be. Where I am the person I want to be… And it’s hard to make the transition back to reality because I’ve made it my idea of perfection. I wonder day after day, when it’s just me, who and what I really am and what I want to be. And I have so many dreams, each with their own positives and negatives, and I think sometimes that maybe I just need to get my head out of the clouds and come back to Earth. I live one life in reality and another in my head, and sometimes I want to be someone that I’m not, but I just want the things in my head to come true so I can stop living a double life. - Teale
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